I've been slightly MIA for a few days. I posted a Music Monday on Tuesday making it a Tunes Tuesday (technically.) I've felt overwhelmed, far away and weird all in the best way possible. Also, I'm in London. For approximately 4 months and 23 days. I'm currently listening to the Lumineers which is sort of funny because I never really listened to them until recently. If you wanna get into the mood I'm in right now—open your Spotify, type in Cleopatra, and press play.
So I'm in London. I'm studying abroad for those 4 months, and whenever I catch myself realizing I'm in London, it makes me feel so confused and thrilled. If you told me I'd be doing this a year ago, I'd probably be completely freaked out. Mostly because this is something totally and completely out of my comfort zone.
Back in the Summer of 2017, the idea of going abroad during my Spring semester seemed to keep finding its way into my mind. I'd talk about it over and over again with anyone who would listen (seriously anyone—shop keepers, waiters, friends, my dog...) and I've slowly started to realize I basically spoke this idea into existence.
You know when your brain makes you think crazy things? Like 'what if I just quit my job and became a sheep herder?' Or, 'what if I just threw my phone in the lake and never spoke to anyone?' Well this was that except it was, 'what if you just moved to a different country for four months by yourself and just see what happens?' I know for some, studying abroad sounds super simple and easy, and if that's you, I can only commend you 1000 times over. I've always wished I could be the 'yes' person to adventures because after all, the possibility of potential adventures are the things that keep me up at night—as I'm sure they do for you as well.
It's weird to look back at how I got here, because it's almost something I can't quite remember even though it was clearly a passionate thing I pursued for months. It seriously feels like some thing took over and basically pursued and pursued until tickets were booked, bags were packed, and goodbyes were said. I even joke with people when they ask me about deciding to study abroad that I didn't think I would make it this far (as in actually being here doing the damn thing!) So in some weird way I feel like this was 100% something I was meant to do. Like there's something or maybe someone I'm meant to learn or meet along the way. And I know I know, it sounds so cliche and a bit cringe because studying abroad is a luxury not many can take advantage of but I'm here and it's something I never thought I could actually do so I'm proud of myself and want this 5 seconds of 'I DID IT!' celebration ☺︎
I also want to talk a little bit about 2018 and the way I've been looking at life whenever something challenging or upsetting happens to make its way into my life. Anytime I faced something difficult during past years, I 100% looked at them as 'why me?' moments, instead of opportunities for growth and change. I'm almost entirely sure that's why I had such difficult moments in 2015, 2016 and 2017. When your mindset is clogged with negativity and feeling-bad-for-yourself phases, you'll see it reflected in your every day life. IT SUCKS!
During the last couple months of 2017, I started to look at challenges as those moments of opportunity for light. Instead of looking at challenges with fear and sadness, I decided to remind myself that something better was on the other side, I just needed to push through. And if my memory serves me correctly, it's safe to say that this change has been totally worth it.
The first month of 2018 is almost up, and I've found myself in an adventure I could only dream about back home. I'm sure I'll face moments of sadness and challenge, but I also know there's always something good around the corner. I'm gonna try to say yes every time I would pull back and say no, and I'm looking at everything with a glass half full mindset.
P.S. Things may be a little delayed, but I'm still trying to figure out my rhythm here—the wait will be worth it. I promise. (Also) because I'm 5 hours ahead from EST, if you're in the states, posts will be up by the time you wake up and start your day (woohoo.)
See you soon 👋🏼