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January 1st 2018

Thoughts

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January 1st 2018

Caitlin Rance

 

It's 12:00 am, January 1st 2018

At least where I am.

The fireworks are going off, champagne is being popped, and people are being kissed. 

Another year has flown by — just like that. It always scares me and thrills me at the same time.

How slow time seems to go in the moment, but how fast it truly passes in retrospect. 

In 2017, I learned a lot of things about myself and the world.

I learned about how much we over complicate things when in reality, all we truly need is love. Someone to hold our hand when our heart flutters a bit too fast. Someone to tell us everything will be okay when it surely seems like it won't. Someone to hold us when all we feel like doing for a while is cry.

I remember when I was young the world seemed so small, simple and perfect. I was on the playground one day with a friend and we pointed to a house across the way.

"That one," I said. "That’s where we’ll live."

She agreed, and for a brief moment in our worlds — everything was seriously that simple

And how simple I thought life was. It’s still something I envy of little ones. To live life for a brief moment so simply and without fear — it's the purest form of bliss one can have on this planet. It still feels sort of overwhelming in an emotional way to think that at one moment in my life, nothing seemed too scary or ridiculous.

It was as simple as pointing at something, and confirming the future so matter of fact. 

As days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months...and then years, I grew to learn just how weird the world can be. The once carefree untouchable girl I was, now became scared of potential dreams crushed and uncertain futures.

I remember dreaming of days when I couldn’t wait to get away, all to fall into weird limbos of staying right where it’s comfortable. Life always has some weird way of knocking you down just when you’ve finally poked your head out.

But if there’s anything I’ve learned in my few years on this planet - that’s the scariest place of them all. The comfort zone. 

It’s 2018 now, and I still get shivers thinking about that because I can still remember accidentally writing ‘2008’ on my papers when it was actually 2009. I can still remember laying in my bed in 2010 blaring teenage dream completely mesmerized.

It's seriously the best song.

In 2018 a lot of things will happen. I’ll live in London for 4 months and 23 days. I’ll turn 21, I’ll start my senior year of college, and I’ll also have my lucky year. (every 7 years you experience your lucky year - 2018 is mine!)

Time never stops, and it’s weird to think that in basically less than 10 years I’ll be 30. 

We only have a short amount of time on this planet, even though it sometimes doesn’t seem like it. I never for a minute want to find myself in a limbo of comfort when I could very easily be doing something that I'll eventually add to my book of untold adventures (Pt. I of course)

 I hope 2018 teaches you to live for the todays and not the tomorrows. 

Here are my 2018 goals/resolutions/dreams whatever you wanna call it:

Stick my head out a window as the wind dances through my hair

Cannonball into a lake

Kiss with red lipstick on

Meditate everyday 

Walk the streets of Paris eating a baguette

Read a book every month

Journal everyday

Write a song and play it on my guitar

See the sunrise in a city I've never been to before

Say yes when I mean it, and say no when I mean it

Eat more cherries

Jump up and down on a fluffy bed

Go to Slab City

Connect with people

Laugh and keep laughing

take myself out to dinner 

Buy a piece of art

Make a short film

Develop all my old film

 

What are your goals/dreams/resolutions?